LimonChella

I see what is now and what has past

I see all the things that cannot last

As much as I picture us together

And freeze this in my mind forever

It breaks and scatters too cold for touch

In my head are the words I wish you’d say

And I find there is nowhere safe to stay

To hide from the noise of the riot in my head

Try as I might I cannot escape the dread

No words were said and no promises broken

And I am left to stare inside this divide

While what is real watches and waits

I am bound by love and the words unsaid

Bound and powerless in your wake.

My fingers move
Stroking the warm damp air
Shifting and gathering the clouds

It was then
I saw you move
I close my eyes
To receive the first kiss
And then another awakening

It was then
You saw me take it
I stand exposed
Soothing caresses softly cupping Inhaling the lift and drop of every breath

It was then
You were lost to me
I open my arms wide
Soul brightly aglow inviting warmly

Surrender and stay dancing upon my lips 

It was then
You became forever mine
Entangled and entwined
Turning and returning
And I became thine

With words only eyes can speak
I surrender my tears to the tides
Saved by the beating of your heart
In every direction I find you close
Shielding and keeping me strong
You are my light in my dark hours
The comforting hand upon my head
Accepting of my sin and weakness
In the many miles I have travelled and will travel

My soul is gently held

Never alone with you there.

Feel my acceptance of the way we are
And the joy of being loved and wanted
My arms soft with invitation and affection
Nothing lost and everything gained
Our love unmoved in storm and rain
You have sought and you have found
Not a love borne of heart break
Nor fear of anything that shatters
But an emptiness when you open your eyes to the day
And a longing when you shut your eyes in the night
It’s the knowledge that I am waiting
Solidly real and your hidden story
An ache and a memory until I’m there.

Alive and perfectly real
Loved with no part unloved
Everywhere yet ever present
Mindful and not mindless
Always myself and never another
Ever in your eyes.

It’s an ache that grows inside
A sweet suffering of innocent hope
Of happiness rippling in pooling tears
Yours smile plays like an infant on my mind
While I wait for the flaws in my personality to protest
Only to find it silenced upon hearing the kindness in your voice
And seeing the soft light in your eyes
I am speechless and torn apart
Watching you make the ordinary too beautiful to bear.

-Written with a few borrowed lines from the TV series Mad Men

Human love has many faces
Not all of them are beautiful
It is transient as it is human
It lives and then it dies
Sometimes without reason or explanation
It conquers worlds and subdues time
And then it leaves a void where your heart once was
Yet what a loss it is to have never given in to its sway
With the full knowledge that it will consume you
We live and die
Suffer and endure it
Because all is life
In varying shades of love
Over and over again.

I see the smiles and the good times shared
I feel your pain as your eyes slip and stare
That feeling of being lost and wanting to be seen
The empty loneliness on remembering where you’ve been

You may not know as I do know
It’s part of the way life flows
This way and that until heaven bestows
A loving heart that will be your home

Until then it’s your right to mourn
The life you shared with him as you sit with your insides torn
In the places where I cannot follow
I can only exist where your heart will allow

Don’t worry if you think of him often
Don’t fret if he slips out as I listen
I am first your friend before i play another role
I hear your stories new and old

I’m here to love you as you heal
Here to stay in love and in patience until
Tomorrow and the days long after
Where I am allowed to fill your days with happiness and laughter

Patience, gentleness, joy and the deepest love
Is all your beautiful heart will receive
It is truly all I have to give
And what you fully deserve.

He looks like the open road to me
As he makes my perfect cup of tea
He throws up no obstructions
When buttering toast for me
No ongoing construction
Or pothole warnings ahead
He offers this picnic gently
A request for entry to my bed
His smile is shy and framed with eyes of leaf and moss
Lashes long and pink mouth brush soft
He draws beauty and lines yet unseen
He is my maker of sex, toast and tea.
April 15 2018 2220pm